Do you have days when motherhood is long and unfulfilling? Is it hard to find satisfaction? It’s okay to feel that way at times. Don’t berate yourself.
I can remember feeling a bit frayed. Surviving from one feeding to the next. One diaper change at a time. One more load of laundry to do. Toys! Toys! Toys! Everywhere there were toys! And oh, the dreaded daily question would hit me like clockwork, “What’s for dinner?”
Allowing this overwhelmed life to saturate my thinking hurt me and it affected my kids. So, I chose to take the following four steps in my life; they enabled me to be a better mom to my kids and a better self to myself.
#1 Take some “God and you” time. If you are a Christian and go to church often, you have heard over, and over that, you must read your Bible and pray. It’s probably beginning to sound a little like “wah, wah, wah.” But hang on! Let’s take a fresh look at why this “God and me” time is so important to finding inner satisfaction as a mom.
I’m not much of a morning person. I’m often quite negative when I first wake. I need my coffee, but I also need “God and me” time! I could blame my grumpy state on “not being a morning person”, but the truth is, my problem is an empty problem.
Just like we need food every day to live, we need God’s word. Like we need a daily relationship with our family to stay connected, we need a daily connection with Jesus. Without constant nourishment and on going connection, our bodies die, and our relationships suffer. It’s the same with our relationship with God. If my time with God goes wanting, I’m a wreck! The stress of the day literally swallows me whole. I end up feeling unsatisfied with life and unfulfilled as a mom, or in any other role, I fill for that matter.
Reading God’s word replaces my negativity. I receive God’s perspective on my “to do” list vs. my overwhelmed exaggeration. Starting my day off with a soul cleanse, I tell God my worries, stress, and sins. After every negative thought is out, it is time to renew my mind with scripture. As each scripture fits my struggle, I realize the refreshment I receive is God caring for me! (1 Peter 5:7). Through God’s word, “He gives us new life and light to our eyes” (Ezra 9:8).
#2 Remember to be you. It’s easy to get caught up in comparing ourselves to others. As a young mom, I would often look at other moms and their kids, compare myself, my parenting, their kid’s behaviors compared to my kids. In doing this, I felt inadequate.
I would often pour this negativity onto my children. I became more demanding and critical. It was awful until the Lord showed me that my critical and demanding spirit was the direct result of not accepting me for me and my kids for who they were.
God created every one unique, and their uniqueness is His way of making our world beautiful. I learned that the more I tried to be like someone else, I became a roadblock to God working His best through me as a mom and through my kids.
If you have been in church long enough, you know the truth of the Psalmist, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made, wonderful are Your works” (Psalm 139:14). But we can miss the second part of that verse, “and my soul knows it very well.” Does your soul know this well? In other words, do you believe it? Don’t be that roadblock to what God wants to do through you by comparing yourself to others.
#3 Get you some girl time. Community is so important in our lives. Hearing other mom’s stories and how their life is hard at times helps you not feel alone. Women need other women in their life. We need to share our struggles, our ups, and downs. We need to celebrate our kid’s milestones and gain insight on their difficulties.
Life was never meant to be lived alone.
But I caution you here: make sure your girlfriends are truly inspiring and have your best interest at hand. For it is the counsel of the wise that helps you grow positively; unlike the counsel of the wicked (or unwise) who just want to tear you down.
Be discerning with who influences you!
#4 Dive into your sweet spot. It’s okay for you to dive into what interests you. Maybe it’s gardening, cooking, painting, or writing. Maybe it’s event planning or leading a ministry. Teaching, speaking, craft making, or whatever it is, what are you good at? What gives your soul a lift? What excites you?
Take time to work on your gifts and celebrate that God made you! There is nothing more refreshing than spending time doing what you enjoy. I love to read, write, learn, and teach. Since I homeschooled my children, one of the things I looked forward to was lesson planning.
Every Saturday morning was my time. For four hours, my husband allowed me that time to read, plan, and learn. I was so refreshed when it was over; I was ready to answer the beckoning call of my children when I was done.
What’s your sweet spot? Find it, dive in, and enjoy!
Don’t believe the lie that taking these four steps are selfish. If doing these gives you a sense of fulfillment and significance, it will, in the end, make you more generous to your family. It’s worth it, don’t you think?
Photo By lenetstan